Word: '''m'''ass
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Anyhow, I must admit I am fairly pleased that the sequel craze has been toned down for this summer, and though I’m hardly looking forward to any of the epics Hollywood is attempting to ram down our throats this summer, I think we can all agree on one thing: the all-powerful hotness of Keira Knightley in a leather bondage outfit, sporting Celtic tattoos and one big-ass sword. Bring it on, Keira...
...John F. Kerry of PCF-44. When describing Kerry he unloads choice adjectives, ?opportunist? being his favorite. His most colorful phrase is claiming that all Kerry wanted to do was ?save his lily-white ass.? Up until now he has kept his resentment mostly to himself. ?I?ve told a few of my friends that he was an asshole,? Gardner says. ?But I?m not looking to make news...
...Fighting Tools" (Clampett, October 43) alerts soldiers that great weapons are useless without careful maintenance; SNAFU ends the cartoon as, literally, a horse's ass in a German Prison Kampf. "The Goldbrick" (Tashlin, September 43) has SNAFU urging his fellow GIs, "I'm a goldbrick, be like me, use your head / With a heart of pure gold and a backside of lead," before singing a hymn to the lazy life to the tune of "Tit Willow" from "The Mikado." It ends with a bucktoothed Jap (they always had prominent dentures and were always called Jap) threatening, "Here lies a goldbrick...
...that I had something to play for our fighting men and women," he says. In a trial run at the U.S. Naval Academy, it brought the house down. "But once people said I should release it, I knew there was going to be trouble. I'm comfortable being extreme, but saying 'boot in your ass' is so extreme. Of course, if you say, 'foot in your butt,' you got no song...
...first kungfu-lesbian-horror-Mexican-wrestling musical comedy. (Could there be a second?) The premise, from screenwriter Ian Driscoll, is piquant: Jesus H. Christ joins forces with a priest to rid Ottawa of a vampire coven. He's an activist Savior ("If I'm not back in five minutes, call the Pope") who kicks beaucoup d'ass. He's closer to a standard Mel Gibson hero than to the hero of the new Mel Gibson movie. But the comedy is slack, the song lyrics feeble, the pace torpid. Note to cultists: A movie may be incompetently acted and amateurishly shot...