Word: act
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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Although he's nursed the slights for a few decades too long - most of his targets are dead, after all - Cheeta's comebacks have sharp teeth: Chaplin is a humorless "demi-ape"; Mickey Rooney gets pegged as "a cacophonous cartoon of glutinously faked ebullience" who basically stole Cheeta's act; and Rex Harrison ... well, frankly, his opinion of the gentlemanly English star who, as Dr. Dolittle, at least tried talking to the animals, is as mean-spirited as it is unpublishable on a family-oriented website. Far better is his elegant demolition of Mrs Fairbanks, who, he writes...
...what raises Me Cheeta above the run-of the-rumor-mill celebrity bio is the author's refracted take on Hollywood's human wildlife. He's fascinated, for example, by their obsession with sex. Among chimpanzees, the sex act tends to be brief and to the point, whereas almost every act by a male human in the book is seen as "an attempt to attract the attention of some sexually receptive females. ... as part of its elaborate courtship displays this species has invented telephones, moving pictures, cars, music, money, organized warfare, tigerskin rugs, alcohol, mood lighting, speedboats, mink coats, cities...
...father explain sex: "I nodded up and down, my mouth agape. If I appeared awestruck, it was not over this anatomical breakthrough but over my father's choice of props. It occurred to me that never before had any father pressed into service a garden hose to demonstrate the act of sexual intercourse. Not birds and bees. Not mating wolves. Not oak trees and acorns. The two ends of a rubber hose. Only...
...safe to say that, if you're reading this review, the movie's not for you. Anyone over nine can expect the movie's antiseptic energy to get enervating; G rating can be grating. The long dialogue scenes, meant to create the Act II Troy-Gab separation that will be resolved in Act III, often devolve into logorrhea. Tip to parents and kids: when the two leads start talking seriously, go for your popcorn and pee breaks...
Queensland's chief wildlife manager, Mike Devery, defended the costly operation, saying the animals were listed as vulnerable under the state's Nature Conservation Act, which labels crocodiles over 13 feet long as "iconic." But the kid-glove treatment outraged many locals, including Federal Parliamentarian Bob Katter, a cowboy-hatted, blunt-spoken cattle rancher whose 218,000 square-mile electoral district is home to thousands of wild crocodiles...