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Baal would improve life at Harvard for all. Theancient Canaanites believed that proper worship ofBaal required that the worshippers engage insacred orgiastic rites to ensure the rhythmiccycle of nature. While the causal link is unclearanyone can see the benefits this kind of activitywould offer sex-starved Harvard students. Offeringlibations to Baal--the ritual pouring of alcoholicbeverages--couldn't hurt Harvard social lifeeither. At the same time, Baal would provide amore plausible mascot for our sports teams thanthe UC's ill-fated John Harvard look-alike...
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