Word: actualizes
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...thought my actual reason for being there would sound shallow: I want to learn to use a defibrillator because it's always supercool on ER when the doctor gets out the paddles and yells, "Clear!" Instead I say that I'm a new aunt and I don't want to kill my nephew. The instructor replies, "It's nice you're here, but next time you might want to sign up for Infant CPR." I joke that oh, my parents have one foot in the grave too, and then everyone looks sad and nods in sympathy...
...Hardball, currently shooting in Chicago, KEANU REEVES plays a ticket scalper sentenced to coach some Little League ragamuffins from the Cabrini-Green housing project. Sounds saccharine enough for a Robin Williams flick, but the film, very loosely based on actual events, has Chicago Mayor Richard Daley fuming. A copy of the screenplay Daley obtained has Reeves' li'l sluggers acting like delinquents and making liberal use of the F word. (You'd think Daley might protest that the film's central plot device is stolen from that 1992 classic, The Mighty Ducks--but no.) "They just don't want this...
...FARC) evokes a sinister amusement park, and that impression was certainly underscored on my first night there: In the town of San Vicente de Caguan, alongside the FARC's House of Culture - a mostly empty building in which camouflage-clad teenage guerrilla boys and girls flirted - there was an actual carnival. A Ferris wheel spun at dangerous speed above a merry-go-round, while a long, glowing worm on wheels carried people around the town, blaring its police siren as it bumped past machete and saddle shops and a lane of candy-colored brothels...
...thought my actual reason for being there would sound shallow: I want to learn to use a defibrillator because it's always supercool on "ER" when the doctor gets out the paddles and yells, "Clear!" Instead I say that I'm a new aunt and I don't want to kill my nephew. The instructor replies, "It's nice you're here, but next time you might want to sign up for Infant CPR." I joke that oh, my parents have one foot in the grave too, and then everyone looks sad and nods in sympathy...
...readers: As you've undoubtedly noticed, here at TIME.com we've taken the liberty of using the word "asshole" in its entirety (except in headlines). First, we figure that reporting the news means telling the whole story, and, second, it strikes us as a bit prissy to ignore the actual wording of a quote in favor of a milquetoast replica...