Word: adamancy
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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Directed by Adam Schwartz...
Dave hit the brakes. Adam's head hit the headrest. Dave was unhappy with our attitude towards his quest. The quest, the quest, what was the quest? College degeneracy with a time warp twist, boy meets blind date, meets his past, meets his maker. No, not his maker, but a girl. A mystery girl, a girl who had for Dave the body, mind, and allure of a fourth grade flame, but the voice of a Smith coed. No, not coed, couldn't be a coed in an all girl's school...
...Five bucks baby." Adam was gloating; she's got to be fat, only fat girls call fourth grade lovers, only lonely, sweaty, sexually confused consumers of Harlequins, bon bons, and small teddy-bears and poodles track down, call up, and invite up the fourth grade boy from next door. It was a certainty that floated in our rental car with malignant intensity, putting Dave on the defensive and the speedometer at 55. Suddenly Dave wasn't in a hurry to get there...
...there it was: "East Hampton--Next Exit." My heart thumped; would it be true? Would Cappi be there? Or was I wrong? Maybe it really was the girl Dave had once known, maybe I was the hapless victim of my own nostalgic fantasies. Or was Dave the victim?--maybe Adam's brutal sexual slurs were thorougly accurate, and Dave's virility was about to be trampled by an Iowan heavyweight with a five dollar halo floating above her pimply head. We would soon know...
...mental picture of Cappi, praying for a match. But beside me, Dave's face was lighting up. The door opened, and the two Iowan's smiled at each other. A thick wholesome glow suffused the terrace as they shook hands, sparkles flashing from their corn polished teeth, drowning out Adam's smirk and my vision of Cappi. She wasn't Cappi and she wasn't fat. I had been betrayed, Adam had lost five dollars, Dave was stuck with shaking hands, and fourth grade love was a bust...