Word: adams
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During his spring break, Adam walked toward the city park a few minutes from his house to meet M4V6D. “He was supposed to pick me up in his car and take me back to his place,” he recalls. As Adam approached the car, he felt palpitations in his throat. “It was like that feeling you get before giving a big presentation,” he says. Finally, the online world Adam inhabited as a “bi-curious” man was encroaching on the outside world where...
M4V6D drove Adam to his house. Several hours later he dropped him off back at the park—without his virginity. At home, Adam immediately changed his profile from “bi-curious” to “gay.” Long before he told anyone in person, long before he told his parents, Adam declared himself homosexual on the Internet...
Looking back, Adam remembers his first sexual experience fondly. “It was really positive,” he says. “He asked me how I liked it. I couldn’t get this support from my family. I couldn’t even say ‘gay’ to them.” Adam credits his online experience with opening the door to his sexuality. “I would have come to terms with myself eventually,” he says, “but I’d probably be dealing...
...Older gay men always tell me I am so lucky,” Adam says. “People who grew up without online access had it tough. If you don’t have anyone else to identify with and the Internet isn’t there, who can you talk to? You’d develop insular feelings and you’d have to cope alone...
...particular self,” he writes. Less invested, they can adjust their masks without feeling exposed. But reinvention is not always an improvement. A few of the subjects of this story might have benefited from the constraints imposed by more traditional methods of communication. For Lillian, Michael, Adam, Ashley and Jane, Lewis’ hypothesis that the Internet encourages exploration of new identities holds true—though the process was not always smooth and the results were not always what they hoped for. For better or worse, the Internet allowed each of them to change their masks...