Word: ahhhh
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...smarmy Pacey. Can you even think of a better couple? (I hear they dated in real life. Scandal!) And the others? Put Dawson and Andie together-- they're both filled with enough angst to last several spinoffs. Hook Jack up with the football player he keeps eyeballing. And Jen? Ahhhh Jen. Here's my solution: Dawson's dad is on the market...
...take it anymore! The 1 a.m. party curfew, the no-fly zone, the Teletubbies, ahhhh...
...former label? "[Mercury] had a terrible distribution problem," he says. "I've had humongously huge hit records, and I'd walk into like the local Target and--no stock." Nor is he fond of Jay Leno's Tonight Show: "I was on that show once and it was like, 'Ahhhh! This is brain damage!'" And like many of the ordinary folks who make up his fan base, he's fed up with the situation in Washington. "I don't understand how they got those [Clinton grand jury] tapes on TV," he complains. "Where's Nixon's tapes...
...bombers McGwire and Sosa. We may have to wait 20 years--when, say, Matt McGwire, now 11 and a weekend bat boy for his father's team, threatens to hit 100 homers in a season--for reality to set in. Then the geezers will sigh and say, "Ahhhh, remember the glory...
...Ahhhh, yes--an evening with the classics. One can envision the sequence of events: the unsuspecting Shakespeare aficionado heads off to the Loeb Ex last weekend to take in a showing of Pericles. This play, being one of the late romances, naturally contains all the elements one might expect from Shakespeare's pen: sea burials, royal courtships, knightly jousting, hired assassins, tempests, poison, whorehouses, incest--incest?--basketball tournaments, stripteases, the electric slide...and, of course, pirates...