Word: alexa
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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Wicked Pictures, a major adult-entertainment company, set me up on a cyberdate with one of its actresses, Alexa Rae, star of Porn-o-matic 2000 and Say Aaah. I had never seen Alexa's work, but I was assured she was a complete professional. SafeSexPlus.com sent both of us toys, and we made an e-date...
...outlet and came with suction cups. This frightened me even more than the Zappa hair until the people from SafeSexPlus explained that I was supposed to stick the suction cups on my computer monitor once the "cyberdildonics box" popped up. This box could be made darker or lighter by Alexa's controlling the box on her screen and would make my latex gizmo vibrate at higher or lower frequencies depending on how much light she decided to give me. I don't know what sexual experience was supposed be replicated by a vibrating disembodied female body part, but I didn...
...have the same sort of control over Alexa's marital aid, which I assumed would be somewhat less terrifying...
...assumed wrong. "It's a little scary," Alexa confessed as we talked on the phone and I squinted at a live picture of her on a tiny, fuzzy box on my screen. I'm pretty sure she's pretty and possibly blond. "It looks like it might hurt me. And it's making these ramming noises. Like a jackhammer." I had never prided myself on being a gentle and considerate lover; "ramming noises" and "like a jackhammer," however, were not phrases I was used to hearing...
...ensemble, which is generally quite good, offers several standout performances. Heather Childs '02 (who also choreographed) and Colleen Gargan '02 simply sizzle in the elaborate dance sequences, while Alexa Fields '01 is delightful as Fatima, the courtesan/bookkeeper who just isn't quite right for "the business." The 11 o'clock number goes to the Head Courtesan, Matt Romero '02. "Oh, Diogenes!" launches a tap marathon sure to rev the audience up for the pending finale...