Word: alienable
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This is the real Dream Team. We know that the U.S. men's Olympic basketball team, which trademarked the name, is going to win in Atlanta, barring a natural disaster or an alien invasion. We know that Shaquille O'Neal is going to be slamming on Angola, that Gary Payton will be stripping Croatia of the ball and that Charles Barkley will jab Lithuania with his elbows. Americans may love every moment of it, but they'll know the outcome of every game. There will be no dream there, only the hard realism of superiority. The players on the women...
...ALIEN BLACKOUT...
Just as the alien invasion blockbuster Independence Day landed in movie theaters (with a staggering $11-million opening night), electricity mysteriously shut off in large parts of eight Western states--snarling traffic, knocking out phone and subway service, turning off air conditioners and bringing heat-drenched chaos to as many as 2 million people from Canada to Mexico. A simple coincidence? More than a few extraterrestrial aficionados thought they saw a more sinister connection. How else to explain that across a third of the U.S., movie theaters suddenly went dark...
HARRY CONNICK JR., who turns up on screen in Independence Day as a drawling, alien-hunting fighter pilot, also has a new album, Star Turtle, which just happens to have an extraterrestrial theme. The jazz-funk record describes a cosmic terrapin's landing in New Orleans and his evening of club crawling with local lounge lizards. But those looking for a link between movie and album are lost in space, Connick says. "The two are unrelated. I'm not into turtles or space stuff." The seeming coincidence can be chalked up to that secret something known as cross-promotion...
Other shows refused to put Aldrich on after they read the book, finding its Liz-Marries-Space-Alien tenor beneath credibility. For example, Aldrich goes on for five pages about the December day in 1994 when he helped decorate the White House Christmas tree with an anatomically correct gingerbread man, lords doing a lot more than leaping and other "sex toys and self-mutilation devices" approved by Hillary Clinton. This is ludicrous. First, the entire press corps sees the tree and would notice three hens fornicating. Second, all the decorations sent in from artists are screened for appropriateness (two were...