Word: allen
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...Allen himself is annoying with his mindless babbling and weak jokes. Some may find his antics amusing. But frankly, the "poor-little-man-who-gets-a-sex-goddess" theme is just not funny anymore...
...rest of the main characters are even more dry and lifeless than Allen. The desire to slap Helena Bonham Carter out of her self-pity is overwhelming, and only increases as the movie progresses. And Michael Rapaport, while likable at first as the "dumb-blond" boxer Allen tries to fix Linda up with, winds up sounding plastic and rehearsed, without a shred of believable character in him. By the trite end, it is clear that you are supposed to be happy for them. But you can't be happy for people you never liked-or even got to know...
...plot itself is poorly structured. Chances are that you will find yourself wondering, fairly often, what is going on. Why Allen is so intent on finding Linda in the first place is never really explained. And sure, dirty jokes are funny. But there is a cutoff point for everything. Unless the sight of a dildo lying in a fish tank makes you crack up, most likely you will end up rolling your eyes at Allen getting hot and bothered when he sees the latex fish...
...impressive names in the movie, with the exception of Allen himself, have tiny cameo roles as various Greek actors or Chorus members. Here the prime question comes into play: does one really want to spend $7.50 to hear Olympia Dukakis crack one joke...
...short, save your money. "Mighty Aphrodite" lives up to its name about as much as Woody Allen deserves the title "Zeus." Do not be deceived, fair readers. Avoid this whine and cheese party as much as humanly possible...