Word: allenate
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...turf war," in the words of Sarah M. Allen, a professor at Brigham Young University who has researched this family dynamic. It turns out that both men and women share some of the blame. According to Allen and her co-researcher, Alan J. Hawkins, moms turn into gatekeepers when they secretly hold a core belief that women are simply better nurturers. They agree with the principle that men should be equals at home, but they don't actually believe men can do it as well...
...pattern is established in childbirth and breastfeeding that can be hard to break, observes Greg Allen, author of the blog Daddytypes. The mother becomes the expert first, then cringes as she watches her husband awkwardly stumble through his learning curve. As she hears the cries of her fragile infant, she can't help but interrupt...
...Allen suggests that the key to unlocking gatekeeping may therefore be for a father to demonstrate his interest as a constant commitment. "He can't be a token Dad," she warns. Rather than offering to dress his daughter one morning, he should say, "I'll not only dress her today, I'll dress her every day." When he acknowledges how important this reliability is, he'll gain her trust...
...Couples today need to remember that no generation has done this before. We have few role models. "Every single day, they're defining what it is to be a mother and father," explains researcher Allen. "Each couple must negotiate what those words mean...
...second week at no. 1 and my album is out today," announced Lily Allen, and then giggled, which could have been a self-conscious reaction to her own bragging, or maybe she was simply tickled by the fact that things are going her way. The sweaty crowd at London's small but sophisticated Bush Hall last Monday already knew she was at the top of the charts - but cheered anyway. Even the blistering heat wave baking Britain's streets seemed timed to make Allen's summery blend of laid-back ska, pop and hip-hop seem all the more appropriate...