Word: allenate
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...Well, why shouldn't Allen have a crush on Juan Antonio? For one thing, he dreamed the character up; for another, Bardem doesn't have to work hard to radiate the sensitive machismo of a man who doesn't use women so much as he allows them to briefly fulfill their dreams in him. Visually, too, the movie is in love with Barcelona, its gnarled Gaudi buildings, and with the countryside of Ovieto, a hundred shades of glorious earth tones. (The cinematographer is Javier Aguirresarobe, who has shot films directed by Pedro Almodovar, Victor Erice and Alejandro Amendabar...
...less than Henry James, Allen is judgmental of Americans abroad - they betray a sexual naivete when exposed to a society so much more practiced in the art of gracious loving. And no less than Vicky and Cristina, Allen is almost star struck by the Spaniards, and the Mediterranean ease in forming, then releasing, sexual liaisons. The hallmark of his characters is the fumbling confession of furtive love; but in this idealized Catalonia, where nothing romantic is forbidden, everything is beautiful, as natural as breathing in sync with the woman who has fallen asleep in your arms...
...sexy that Juan Antonio's father still has erotic dreams of her, Maria Elena had been Juan Antonio's muse, competitor and wife; their turbulent marriage ended when she tried to kill him. Of course she shows up, once her ex has set up house with Cristina, allowing Allen to run further amorous permutations. A darkroom kiss between Cruz and Johansson is probably Allen's most direct expression of romantic-sexual connection...
...movie is narrated in an American voice (not Allen's) that is pitched slightly above all the characters. The voice knows Vicky and Cristina best, but you know it wants to live with, possibly bed down with, cosmopolitan Juan Antonio and crazy Maria Elena...
...limitation - since life is not perhaps simply a series of bed partners from whom we discover that the greatest wisdom is realizing we always have more to learn from others, and about ourselves. But Vicky Cristina Barcelona is so engaging so much of the time that we can entertain Allen's proposition. It's certainly evidence that a summer in Spain can do wonders for a writer-director who may not have outlived his prime...