Word: amish
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That's just the beginning of the turmoil brewing in Amish country. Some men are upset that an increasing number of Amish businesses are owned by women. And there may be a fight ahead with the U.S. government. Homeland Security technically requires photo IDs for interstate travel, and the Amish aren't allowed to have their pictures taken. Again, Witness isn't helping...
...decided to focus on Pennsylvania's Lancaster County because it has a large population of Amish and because it's the only place I'm certain the Amish live, thanks to that movie Witness. I figured I'd put out a call to the Amish's publicist and hear a pleasant tale about how Ezekiel is planning a big wedding and now that Mrs. Ezekiel is taking time off, the town will be getting a new schoolmarm. At worst, I thought maybe I'd discover that Weird Al Yankovic was poking at them again, planning something like...
...finally tracked down Donald Kraybill, a professor in the Young Center for Anabaptist and Pietist Studies at Elizabethtown College. Kraybill, to my chagrin, told me there is in fact a lot of stuff going on with the Amish. Far more, I had to admit, than is going on with me. Amish churches, he said, will spend the next year wrestling over whether to allow members to own cell phones. This seemed odd to me, since Amish beliefs forbid members to drive a car, go to school past eighth grade or have phones in their homes. But someone found a loophole...
Kraybill told me the churches next year will rule on the use of Rollerblades, which the Amish of Lancaster are increasingly getting into via another loophole, involving rules on rubber wheels for transportation. This, I think, could be a boon for Lancaster tourism. Sure, handcrafted furniture and farm-fresh produce is nice, but if I'm driving all the way to Pennsylvania, I want to see bearded men in eight-piece suits blading around while chatting on their cellies. Kraybill also said Wal-Mart is poised to come to the Buck, a new local shopping center. Should its proposal...
...Amish do leave, they could join a migration of farmers from Lancaster, where land prices have skyrocketed, to Wisconsin, where many Amish are now dairy farmers. The Lancaster farmers who have stayed are increasingly going organic, not for religious reasons but because they have found that the public will buy any product that contains the words Amish and organic because it seems extra wholesome. Though a little less so when you realize your organic millet was made in a mill where workers were barely paying attention, Rollerblading around, gabbing on their Amish party lines. "Oh, no, you didn't, Jebediah...