Word: analities
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...Orwellian fable about an unnamed nation that is unmistakably Iraq, one ruled by a whimsical killer called Great Uncle. He likes Tommy Hilfiger cologne and fears germs so much that he obliges visitors, before they come near, to change into sterile surgeon's robes and submit to an anal probe. All the same, this is a clown with a cocked pistol in his belt, so sometimes the laughs come hard. When a pool tender at one of his many palaces lets the pH level of the water climb too high, Great Uncle has him shot...
...Burch’s entries referred to her supervisors by first name, bemoaning Director of Undergraduate Studies Anya Bernstein’s “random freaking out” and Champlin-Scharff’s “anal retentive control freakishness...
...Anal Not Retentive
...have intercourse because they lacked a condom, Wallace MacTavish Edwards III ’05 and Slippery P. Slope ’06 elected for the medically validated prophylactic alternative: buttsex. However, dismissing pharmacists’ warnings in the heat of the moment, they decided to decongest her anal cavity with the most readily available viscous fluid in the room: DayQuil (non-drowsy). Slope’s subsequent allergic reaction and rectal hemorrhage, deposited timeless proof of the law of unintended consequences all over the bed—which, fortunately for Slope, belonged not to her but her roommate...
...synopsis: They have lots of strategically placed empty bottles and Natty Lites in the fridge—these girls aren’t picky drinkers—they drink to get drunk. Lots of spotless glasses and lots of cleaners (Cascade, Fantastik)—they must be pretty anal-retentive...