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I’m going to miss this place. Almost nothing anyone told me about Harvard has been accurate. "You’ll be surrounded by attractive men who want to take you out to expensive meals and share your opinions about Proust!" "You will get on the Lampoon instantly...
My own expectations were more specific. I always assumed that Harvard was a giant edifice made of red bricks and the bones of pilgrims, where my roommate would be named Quentin Compson and would leap off a bridge to his death shortly after meeting me. I was only half-right...
Still, I have very few complaints, the only big one being that the dining-hall services stopped serving scrod on a regular basis after I sent them a heart-felt letter telling them how much I enjoyed it. Sometimes I think about it and start coughing violently with emotion, usually...
The thing that has puzzled me most in my time here is why most of the toilets lack lids, or whatever you call that thing that covers the seat. I have a private theory that whoever designed Harvard dorm furnishings had strong moral objections to people sitting down, which explains...
Now, on the verge of graduation, I hope that the real world is like Harvard, mostly because I really like paneling and former fireplaces that are now just confused-looking bits of wall. I also enjoy falling asleep when old, distinguished men are telling me things, and I worry that...