Word: arb
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...Truth. Can the testimony of these college types be trusted? Not according to Steiner. He is convinced that what they say they see is very different from what, behind closed doors and with interviewers out of the living room, they actually watch. Checking their viewing records in an ARB rating, he discovers that the only kind of program they choose considerably more often than the average man is heavy drama. During the evening hours, they spend only 4% less time watching "light entertainment" shows than grade-school addicts, only 2% more time watching news, only 1% more time watching public...
...each other's techniques-seize on the fact that Nielsen's national system measures the tuning of sets, not the number of viewers, and does not account for the chance that the set might be playing to unheeding householders or even to an empty living room. ARB insists that this is a big factor; Nielsen insists that it is negligible...
...most venerable cliché in U.S. humor is the mother-in-law joke. December Bride (Mon. 9:30 p.m., CBS), which translates the joke and variations to television, has astounded the industry by elbowing its way into the top ten. Nielsen and Trendex place Bride No. 5; ARB has it tied for sixth (with Disneyland and I've Got a Secret). Videodex and Pulse report it "consistently...
Probable lineups: WE THEY Farb, A. P. Arb, U. G. O'Crustes, P. R. Isinglass, C. O. Coffin, E. G. Ergo, I. E. Simple, W. Murray Dunce (Cap.) Crass, B. O. A. Stilborne, O. C. Foo, K. Fowne, E. Ole (Cap.) Doung, M. O. O. ranter, D. L. Darnom, H. A. Gumdrop...
Adolf Hitler, in his speech at Danzig last week (see p. 20), uttered a dark hint that Germany possesses a secret and unique weapon. This threat stirred Professor Archibald M. Low, A.C.G.I., M.I.A.E., F.C.S., F.I.P.I., F.R.A., F.R.G.S., F.G.S., D.Sc., Ph.D., F. Inst. Arb. to retaliate. Professor Low is a British television pioneer and jack-of-all-science who worked for the British Government in the last war, invented a wireless control gear for torpedoes. After some scientific snickers at death rays and bacteriological bombs, Professor Low growled: "Whether Hitler has any horrors or not to produce at the moment...