Word: armrests
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Super Size Fee. Overweight baggage isn't the only thing incurring extra fees these days. United Airlines has a new policy for obese passengers - people who can't buckle the seatbelt with one extender, or can't pull down the armrest - asking them to buy a second coach ticket or upgrade to the wider business class seats on crowded flights. Oversized passengers will be accommodated at no charge if there are empty seats on the plane, but on full flights, they'll be bumped and seated on a later flight or given a refund. The airline says the new policy...
...person seated next to me: It's called a tray table, not a changing table. Deep down, I think the lady with whom I once shared an armrest--the woman who changed her baby's diaper on the tray table during meal service--already knew that...
Consider where so many of us see our friends: at the movies, a washtub of popcorn on one armrest, a bladderbuster of Coke on the other. At a ball game, orange "cheez" dripping from our chins, like a jack-o'-lantern bleeding from a bar fight. And, of course, in those very bars, which is why the phrase "Wanna grab a beer?" in any language really means, "Would you like to socialize...
These days when you look at Chase, you don't at first notice any sign of what happened to him that year--not the fall he took while jumping on the couch nor the paralyzing blow to the neck as he hit the wooden armrest. More and more, Chase can do the kinds of things any other 4-year-old can do. He can walk, albeit with the aid of trekking poles. He can hold a cup and pick up an M&M. He's regained at least some sensation...
...problem is, she seems to be very much in the mood to talk. Chunks of Skylab begin to fall from the sky, and fed up with it all, Witherspoon kills herself by standing right in their path. When the lights come up again, we find her perched on an armrest, explaining why Skylab is crashing to earth in a way that seems more like a fourth-grade teacher than one of Durang’s trademark paranoid neurotics...