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...lunch will be tepid. In order to maximize the efficiency of the budget, all swipers will now be considered full-fledged concentration advisers, with full study-card signing rights. Rising food costs have forced us to severely reduce the menu options, most of which will now be based around plain bread. These cuts do not mean, of course, that we are prepared to compromise on accommodations, and students with special dietary needs are strongly encouraged to talk to their Allston Burr Resident Dean about withdrawing from the College. The dining halls in Cabot House, Currier House and Pforzheimer House will...
...That’s not to say that nobody’s getting anybody. Quite the contrary. Walk around Cambridge on a Friday night and you’ll bear witness to the raw, carnal savagery of America’s future presidents and CEOs. Toes curl inside leather loafers. Expensive accessories disappear beneath Harvard’s extra-long twin beds. And pastel polo t-shirts lose their former crispness as young scholars embrace. If only these neo-Georgian dorm-room walls could talk...
...Harvard, relationship pyramids are built from the top-down. Sound impossible? Well it nearly is. You hook up first, and talk about it later—maybe. But usually, there’s so much to do and so little time that most people don’t get around to talking. So if you have an incredible hook-up and want a relationship, you’re going to need to initiate contact, and pronto...
...Your social life this week will predominately take place as part of The Freshman Roving Horde. At night you will call every person you’ve met during your short time at Harvard and wander around in groups of 20 or 30 searching for a party. On the tip of available alcohol, you will flock to one of the houses, where you may find four very frightened upperclassmen sitting around a case of beer. Awkwardness will ensue...
...night in December you will crawl out of your studying cave and find yourself running around Harvard Yard. At midnight. Naked. Primal Scream isn’t for everyone, but it’s a Harvard must-do and a way to let out some of the stress you’ve been accumulating all semester. So what if creepy old men take pictures of you and everyone you know sees you naked...