Word: artagnans
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...Artagnan Beets, 3, is in the corner, dueling with his dad. He's thumping him with big red inflatable sock-'em boppers, squealing every time he lands a good blow. Corporal Tracey Beets is pretty skilled at protecting himself--quick eyes, good moves, bulging arms under a NO GUTS, NO GLORY tattoo--but this is one fight he's happy to lose, because defeat comes with a hug, and there's not time for many more...
...conceal his identity. When Louis sends ex-Musketeer Athos' (John Malkovich) son Raoul (Peter Sarsgaard) back to war so that he can pursue his betrothed Christine (Judith Godreche) and he is killed, Athos calls on his old comrades Aramis (Jeremy Irons), now a priest; Porthos (Gerard Depardieu) and D'Artagnan (Gabriel Byrne) to help him in getting revenge against the King. While Aramis, feeling guilty about his role in keeping Phillipe's existence a secret, and Porthos, always ready to be where the action is, rapidly agree to help Athos, D'Artagnan--who still serves the King and feels loyalty...
...Tower of Babel that is the casting means that the French King Louis and his brother both sound like mall rats from Anywheresville, U.S.A. D'Artagnan has an Irish brogue, and Aramis sounds prissily British. The language barrier is handled by giving the French actors either underwritten (Christine, Queen Anne) or buffoonish parts (Porthos). Depardieu does well enough with his one-dimensional role, chasing after the ladies and attempting to hang himself while naked in one of the funniest scenes in the movie. Parillaud, as Queen Anne, does passably well. Godreche, however, seems to have decided that she could just...
...Alexandre Dumas's trilogy find the long-in-the-tooth trio with more savoir faire. "They still have a little swash, a little buckle," says JEREMY IRONS, who plays Aramis. "But they are older and wiser." GERARD DEPARDIEU is Porthos, JOHN MALKOVICH is Athos, and GABRIEL BYRNE is D'Artagnan, their friend and captain. The film by first-time director Randall Wallace (Oscar-winning screenwriter of Braveheart) is being shot in France and also stars LEONARDO DICAPRIO as the Sun King, Louis...
Fairbanks died early, at 56, but he had already written his obituary on film. At the end of the 1929 The Iron Mask, when D'Artagnan is killed, his spirit rises and he marches in heaven with the other Musketeers, their burly bonhomie still alive. And Doug is in the middle--smiling as if he'd just won the race, the fight and the girl...