Word: asparagus
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Although the more than 25 guests at last night's dinner for Cambridge city leaders and Harvard administrators dined on filet mignon and asparagus salad, the main course was a discussion of the university's and students' commitments to community service...
...Union messages, raised issues as profound as the soup du jour at Flanigan's on Second Street, hereafter to be known as Pete Rose Way. "I knew chicken noodle was on Tuesday," he said significantly. But that night an 0-for-4 showing got him away from the specials (asparagus) and back to the basics (vegetable). Ron Robinson, a raw Reds pitcher who last spring had fretted that he wouldn't make it back from the minors for Rose's moment, whacked his first major-league hit on Tuesday. The game was halted, and Robinson was given the ball...
Back at home, Conrad is once again engulfed in vegetation grown rank with lack of care. "With my hands," he recalls, "I made a breach in the thick curtain of asparagus ferns that tumbled down from the top of the wardrobe and floated like puffs of smoke between the floor and the ceiling." There, amid the old green plants that recall a painting by Henri Rousseau, he reflects upon the failures of religion and revolt. Fortunately for the writer of these bitter meditations, his current fiction has proved more promising than his past careers...
...Yuppies descend in swarms and leave nothing behind but Dumpsters filled with discarded linoleum." Some signs of imminent Yupification: forced relocation of candy stores and laundromats, the proliferation of gourmet-food stores and the appearance of disoriented bums trying to figure out why their favorite bar now has an asparagus fern in the window. Yuppies do not reside in houses or apartments but in "living spaces," often in run-down neighborhoods from which their immigrant grandparents fled. "Yuppies will live anywhere," says the Handbook, "as long as the floors are genuine parquet and there's another Yuppie...
...arranged in private houses or when royal ladies are present." They think longingly of the right public school, the right regiment, the right club (Whites, if possible, or Boodles, or Pratt's, if you must). They dread the fatal slip, the moment when they might, for example, eat asparagus with knife and fork: Use your fingers, idiot...