Word: asse
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...crowd of real people on stage: three backup singers (the Staggering Harlettes) and 18 dancers. This is Vegas, baby. And riding in on that donkey, live and in person, all 5'1" of her, is the Divine Miss M. "Boy," she exclaims, in full twinkle, "is my ass tired...
...just wriggled out of his tutu and sprinkled himself with glitter. It was time for the grand finale. A stagehand emerged to light a sparkler, which fizzed cheerfully, sending off little flickers of white light. The sparkler, of course, was sticking out of Krylon Superstar’s ass. Now in its eleventh year, the Sex Workers’ Art Show bills itself as a blend of consciousness-raising, entertainment, and titillation. The show’s national tour gives workers in the sex industry—strippers, porn actors, burlesque dancers, dominatrixes—a chance to present...
...January, billionaire Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban echoed that sentiment, showing little sympathy for the Hornets' struggles. "Somebody's got to get off their ass and sell tickets," he said. "They've got the best record in the Western Conference, and they can't get people to come? That's not New Orleans, that's effort." Shinn called Cuban to tell him he was "very insulted" by the remarks, and in an e-mail interview with TIME, Cuban insisted he wasn't trying to "insult" Shinn and offered his early experience with the floundering Mavericks as a blueprint...
...Club. But it sort of seems like you’re only in it for the play anyhow, so who cares? She’s hot. Plus, you seem worried—nay, certain—that your V-card can mysteriously return from lack of ass, so I’d say, yeah, let her be your girlfriend. That way, you’ll have all week for douche-baggery, and on the weekends, you can re-secure your non-virginity...
...times when Harvard is kicking you in the ass, dating someone provides a little butt padding. Plus, you’ll never have the problem of adding flair to your relationships—the “challenges” of Harvard sufficiently prevent you from sitting in a room with your boo, fiddling your thumbs, and wondering, “Gee, what should we do now?” At the very least, you should be able to muster a romantic study date in Lamont (read: true love...