Word: assed
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...live and try to act. But keep your eye on the fat man in the corner, because he's the one going to get your ass if you don't watch...
...CURIOUS Beast might have been a Chimera, Except that the Head and skinny Neck, and great, drooping Tail of a Cock, were affixed to the Body of an Ass. Flopping at either Flank was a huge, Sludge-colored Wing, from the Tip of each of which grew a small Talon, causing great Mystery. Each hoof was a giant Talon grappling the Floor...
...Colony was dismayed when the small Head brayed full-loud as an Ass. Then painfully shocked when the Flarb, as by instinct, cut and viciously slashed at those standing in its Perimeter. Once cut of its Perimeter the Colony heatedly debated a Question of great Moment: Where would they sell a furred and feathered Ass which cut and viciously slashed at those standing in its Perimeter...
...great was this God's Admiration for the Half-headed Mortal who could bray twice-shrill as an Ass, that he disrobed, exposing a great Fault to the Membership. And circled his flimsy Petition around the Standard. Listed thereon were nine-hundred and eighty-six Demands to be immediately Met by the Wise Teachers, before the Scribbler's Club would Permit re-landscaping of the Lawn, or removal of the dead Flarbs...
...course that was in the early sixties: that's when I went through puberty. (Now that it's 1970, we can stop all that maudlin reminiscing about the fifties and start talking about the sixties.) Remember "eat it raw," "bite the bird." and "What a piece of ass!" Not to ignore the classic "She's a great kid, not much on looks, but a wonderful personality, lots of lofts." At least pornographers, who finally achieved legitimacy in the sixties, never let us down: "Do it, do it,' she cried, as I rammed the old avenger home." Of course, the reality...