Word: bake
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...cannot wait to lather up my naked, hairy body in an inflatable pool full of testosterone gel. I have felt testosterone deficient since I was five, when, surrounded by female friends, I spent my days compiling my sticker collection, listening to the Annie sound track, baking in my Easy-Bake Oven and arranging my glass-animal collection. Peggy Fleming had a more masculine childhood than...
Still anxious about my results, I called a former girlfriend, figuring she'd make me feel better. "I bet it's freakishly low," she said. "You're afraid of dogs; you once owned an Easy-Bake Oven; and you've never been much for fighting." Now I remembered there were good reasons our relationship didn't work out (one of them being that I told her about the Easy-Bake Oven...
...this Monday morning, as hundreds of frazzled journalists followed hundreds of frazzled campaign staffers and their equally frazzled (though hiding it quite well) candidates from bake sale to support group to school at a hundred different press conferences with equally bad lighting and equally stilted speeches, Bricka set off--unfettered by the petty questions of politics--into the wide blue yonder. He plans to walk the Pacific Ocean to Sydney, a trip which will take him across 7,800 miles in six months, provided he struggles forward at an average of 14 hours a day. One oceanographer was quoted...
...desires are pretty basic. They run along the lines of world peace, good health and an Easy Bake Oven--an item I have coveted since childhood. Don't get me wrong: I had plenty as a child, but I never possessed the light-bulb-powered "amazing toy oven that really bakes!" I ought to be over it. (We did, after all, own a pony.) But the fact is, I can't forget the toy I never...
...also teach our kids the quiet pleasure of waiting. This year my daughter got an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas. She opened it. She watched my face light up. And she gave it to me. "You finally got your oven!" she said. What a kid! Next year I think I'll get her a Barbie Dream House--I've wanted one since I was eight...