Word: bakes
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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When corporate America meets the art of bagel making, weird things begin to happen. The old-school method of bagelmaking is to first boil the dough (high-gluten flour and yeast) for 60 seconds and then bake for about 15 minutes, a process that delivers a soft, chewy interior and a golden brown, crunchy exterior. Some mass producers, such as Einstein, have replaced boiling with 15 seconds of intense steaming, leaving some traditionalists aghast...
Which brings me to the next bit of discouraging news: this is the first year the Pillsbury Bake-Off prize shot up to $1 million--and a man won it. Women have only themselves to blame for this. Sleep deprived, they accepted help in the kitchen. But male cooking is not the everyday feeding of a household; it's a cameo, virtuoso performance in which every dish is used to produce an elaborate meal at midnight. Congratulations and a pass on cleaning up are expected--after all, he cooked! Men can prepare $20-per-lb. salmon in a $300 fish...
...former establishmentarian and Cabinet official, using little more than a smile and a red flannel shirt. You too can be a New You. All it takes is a change of costume, some prepackaged instant microwavable prejudices and a fresh zip code. Stir in a dollop of self-righteousness, bake for a day or less, and serve promptly...
...After a while, everything starts to taste the same, whether it's kung-pao chicken, baron of beef or cusk (whatever the hell that is). And as we at Harvard know all too well, diversity is desirable...even in food. A person can handle only so much shake-and-bake...
...consistent with "family values." After all, the only humane solution would have been to let Charles run off with Camilla long ago, leaving a test tube of sperm behind in Buckingham Palace. His mom could then have distributed it among hundreds of female volunteers in a kind of genetic Bake-Off--with the throne then being awarded to the most boring and phlegmatic child that resulted. The next step would be to take away the royals' allowances, which amount to $15 million a year for the lot. Princess Di, for example, likes visiting the sick, and she'd undoubtedly feel...