Word: baldes
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...initial appeal of The Hat may have been the simple effect that fur produces on the head of a bald man: a shameless and warm toupee. The distinction between balding, foreign men and our top professors being pretty sketchy, The Hat caught on quickly as a sign of the oldest guard of the Intellectual Elite (It's rumored that all eight University professors received new Hats upon their appointment, and precocious Professor of Mathematics Noam Elkies owned several at the tender age of eight). This theory is feasible only at Harvard, where fashion trends sparked by old intellectual men could...
...mascot--a bald eagle--made his rounds through the Garden, stopping in the Harvard section (what was he thinking??), the fans gave him a welcome typical for, well, an endangered species...
...like "Mnemonic," "Razor" and "Garbled Uplink." The center of attention -- a fashionably wan, cigarette-smoking ex-con known as Phiber Optik -- shows up an hour late, even though the party is in his honor. Phiberphest '95, they're calling it. Onstage is a band called Foamola, consisting of a bald male organist, a homeless man playing what appear to be a pair of rocks and a female vocalist who yowls, "When I read a book, I always read Balzac!/ When I take a drug, I always take Prozac!" Mercifully, an emcee named Jane Doe finally seizes the mike and asks...
Pitts was a purveyor of subtlety. He got Richard Nixon to forgo the dollop of "greasy kid stuff," giving him a more natural appearance. Jerry Ford was still trying to comb a few wispy strands of hair over his nearly bald pate when Milt got his clippers on him. He shortened the top and lengthened the sides, playing to nature's own honest impulses...
Being the national emblem didn't keep the bald eagle from facing extinction. Devastated by hunters and pollution, the birds were down to a few hundred breeding pairs in the lower 48 states when they became an endangered species in 1978. Now they are back (4,000-plus pairs) and only "threatened" -- out of grave danger but still off-limits to hunters...