Word: balding
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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Propped against the computer in my Lowell House room is a plastic figurine of a bald little man wearing sunglasses, army boots and a skull-and-crossbones T-shirt bearing the words "death before unconsciousness." His presence is not an ode to Hunter S. Thompson, nor to any passion of mine for hallucinogenic substances; instead he stands in homage to G. B. Trudeau, the creator of the political cartoon Doonesbury...
Rather than make such bald judgments herself, Thurman sets forth her subject's contradictions in a historically sensitive, prodigiously researched biography that has more than a soupcon of modern psychological theory thrown in. Understandably, Thurman occasionally gets lost in the thicket of claims, counterclaims and feuds that envelops the novelist. But who would not? The sphinxlike Colette, inscrutable mistress of her domain, would not have had it any other...
...will he prove it? Perelman's tailor? No, the Times said everyone on the payroll signs a confidentiality agreement. After weeks of stewing, the pudgy little bald guy comes to a desperate decision: he will snatch Perelman, take him to a secret location and measure both his waist and his inseam. The second measurement is just in case Perelman calls the Times next year to say that despite the misleading impression left by photographs taken in dark clubs among leggy women, he is in fact 5 ft. 11 1/2 in. tall...
...pudgy little bald guy can't forget about it. He does manage to get close to Perelman--the security guards apparently assume from his appearance that he's a relative--but then a burst of automatic gunfire nearly cuts him in half. The security guards later tell police that they shot because one of them thought he'd spotted a Javanese garroting device inside the pudgy little bald guy's jacket. When the police turn him over, of course, it turns out to have been a tape measure...
...Four's a good number," he tells me. "We'll say you caught a few. It'll sound like more." We watch an air show: an osprey scares off a bald eagle that has probably come too close to its nest...