Word: balloonful
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...wily Japanese tactic in World War II was to launch balloons carrying small explosive or incendiary bombs in the hope that they would drift across the Pacific and land in the U.S. Some of them actually did land in the Pacific Northwest, and although they caused almost no damage, they proved that the westerly winds at high altitude are fine balloon carriers. Last week the U.S. Navy was following the Japanese lead by launching balloons of plastic film from Oppama, Japan. Instead of bombs the balloons carried instruments to report weather conditions encountered on their long voyages...
...Each balloon also carries 350 lbs. of iron shot for ballast. The balloon is designed to float at the altitude (about 30,000 ft.) where air pressure is 300 millibars. When it loses buoyancy as helium escapes, an automatic device dumps a little ballast and keeps it from descending. When all the ballast is gone, the balloon eventually sinks, and another automatic device cuts the instrument gondola free and lowers it to earth on a parachute. Instructions on the gondola urge finders to send it to the Navy's research laboratory, but even if the instruments are not recovered...
March. Russia will claim that the United States shot down her space satellite. Dulles will offer to pay half the damages, explaining that the Air Force thought it was a trial balloon. President Pusey will resign to become head of the Divinity School, replacing Dean Horton who will quit to become a speech writer for Oral Roberts. General Motors will deny reports that it will merge with the U.S. Treasury Department...
...will launch its space satellite. The Russians will shoot it down, then explain, "It looked just like a trial balloon" and pay half the cost. Senator East land will demand that the U.S. secede from the U.N." and lynch them Ruskies." Russia, in the meantime, will announce the installation of the "Peasant Boys' Administration; what is good for General Zhukov is good for the Soviet Union." Guatemala will claim...
...balloon made of lead...