Word: ballparks
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...came up throwing, but the home plate umpire was already waving his finger around over his head, indicating it was a home run. Northeastern coach Johm Connolly and his dugout protested loudly, but to no avail. The college rules state that if a fielder is carried out of the ballpark by his own momentum, it is a home run regardless if he catches...
...were one of the tardy who arrived at the ballpark the other day just in time to see Luis Tiant throw his final warm-up pitch, you quickly realized that your afternoon would not be spent relaxing in the bleachers, nor would you view the game from the comfort of a box seat. No, you would be one of the many disgruntled spectators whose ticket stub read STANDING ROOM...
Difficult as those tasks may be, certain heretical aspects of the game as it is played in my ballpark today make historic diversion attractive. Even for a dyed-in-the-wool rooter, double-knit uniforms, artificial turf, and blazer-and-turtleneck bedizened umpires all need at least ten years aging before they might be countenanced on the diamond. It may be a century before products of the sandlots assimilate the Designated Hitter. Such gaudy perversions have me clinging to the Goldberg's Peanut Chews billboard which one adorned the left field wall in extinct Shibe Park's power alley. Still...
...wants action. So baseball introduces the designated hitter, a bull moose who replaces the feeble pitcher at bat. The tedium of the old game is dramatically reduced. Fans stop bringing pillows to the ballpark, and more such changes are demanded immediately...
...next day at the ballpark, the fan realizes that he doesn't recognize what is supposed to be his favorite team. "Who are they?" he wonders, as he searches through his rule book for an explanation...