Word: banana
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...major television network bought advertising space on a banana I recently ate. This is not a sentence I've had a chance to say often in my life, so I'm going to repeat it: A major television network bought advertising space on a banana I recently...
...mention something about the banana. It was--How best to put this?--an unfortunate banana. Small, spotty and bruised--not at all the best environment, as the Madison Avenue folks say, for any ad. But when you're advertising on fruit, you're bound to get the occasional lemon...
...telling the truth when I say I was not pleased that the off-yellow banana I bought last week bore a bright yellow sticker bearing the ABC logo along with the ostensibly ironic legend TV. ZERO CALORIES. I'm no food purist, and I know bananas are supposed to have stickers. But they're supposed to say chiquita, and that makes sense. Chiquita produces bananas. ABC produces the pasty mashed potato that is Dharma & Greg...
...long ago took hold on such improbable places as the fenders of racing cars and the insides of matchbook covers. The fact that logos and promotions now bloom on the uniforms of professional athletes, in the blinking screens of Internet data and even on the skin of the sad banana ought to be no surprise...
...stubble and humans who fill their cities to bursting, ads may simply exhaust the very resource that keeps them alive. That resource, in this case, is the goodwill of consumers. As any endangered animal can attest, what follows is extinction. For the dodo, that's a tragedy. For the banana sticker, it would be another thing entirely...