Word: bashes
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...this is not a bash Celine Dion blurb. Too easy. And plus, I kind of feel bad for her. She's a very talented singer who just has no clue (look up the idiom "blank expression" in the dictionary and you'll find a picture of her). So it turns out that Thumper (or Tarzan--I call her various names, all reflective of her tendency to pound her chest in exultation) is writing an "intimate" autobiography to be released sometime next year. I have zero patience, so I came up with a possible page from the forthcoming biography...
...TREND-O-RAMA: BASH KATHIE...
...after we bash and trash, rehabilitation is inevitable. This time it was Frank Gifford, Kathie Lee's lowly husband, who caused the backlash to the backlash after photos of him and his mistress were plastered all over the tabloids. For a while there, Kathie Lee managed to be a victim. Well, folks, it's time to start bashing again. You see, Little Miss Sweatshop decided to send a note to Howard Stern after Stern's painful separation from his wife of 21 years. Stern and Kathie Lee, of course, aren't particularly good friends. Actually, Howard has made it quite...
This New Year's Eve is being touted as the wildest, most hellacious bash of all time. For DICK CLARK, however, it won't be quite as rocking. Clark, the former American Bandstand host who has virtually cornered the market on TV specials, including the annual 90-min. New Year's fest, is being downsized to make room for daylong ABC News coverage of the millennial turnover, anchored by PETER JENNINGS. President Clinton is expected to address the nation near midnight, potentially bumping other programming off the airwaves. Clark--who has been host of New Year's Eve specials...
...AIDS, sponsored by Pets.com. The stars turned out with pooches in tow, and some even took a turn on the runway. Sigourney Weaver arrived with her daughter Charlotte and pup Petals. Robin Strasser, who plays Dorian on "One Life to Live," brought her dogs Scooter and Lola to the bash. "Sopranos" star Edie Falco brought along Marley, who took an unscheduled turn on the cat - er, dog-walk...