Word: bastardly
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...span of a few hours last Thursday, Middle East gunfighting and its bastard cousin terrorism burst back into our lives with split-screen bulletins and double-deck headlines that hammered home again both the volatility of that region and the vulnerability of the entire world. It was a reminder that the horror facing the 21st century will be the one left unresolved in the 20th: after the end of the great confrontations between shifting alliances of nation-states, we are still faced with the bloody terrors wrought by ethnic, religious and tribal hatreds...
...dramatic moments of the show will come when contestants indulge in melancholy, desperate eating binges, subsequently feel remorse and then frantically run around the jogging track until they vomit and cry. Hooray for anorexia! Cheers for bulemia! It's a morally bankrupt idea and it makes even a cynical bastard like me sort of queasy, but I'm also slightly intrigued by the possibilities of sabotage once the field is narrowed to two or three. Just think of the potential scenarios! Instead of Survivor-esque alliances, you'll have feisty individuals strategically placing Goobers and Slim Jims under each other...
...Dirty Bastard's crazy...
...Sean, you bastard...
...some unknown reason the folks over at Heinz didn't - green is really an unfortunate choice for a condiment. First of all, there's the relish association. Relish, as far as I can tell, is the bastard child of cut-rate mustard and those icky sweet pickles...