Word: bathes
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This is the tale of a tub, and it concerns a Harvard professor of large dimensions who felt the urge to take a bath after two weeks of truly Arabic abstention from the use of water. This gentleman had been archeologizing with a Harvard expedition at Mt. Sinai, where a Greek Catholic monastery boasts a magnificent library of manuscripts, but suffers a chronic shortage of water for which it is equally noted...
...received from the U. S. the Distinguished Service Order, from Japan the Order of the Rising Sun and a hatful of European decorations including the Cross of the Legion of Honor and from George V the accolade of knighthood with the Grand Cross of the Order of The Bath...
Though they angered Roosevelt I the most, monopolies in tobacco, oil and whiskey were not the only U. S. trusts. The Bath Tub Trust made exciting news in 1899. The Wallpaper Trust was a failure...
Biggest successes were in Chicago, San Francisco, New Orleans; the most apathetic audience was in Chattanooga. Massine traveled serenely in his auto-trailer in which the only drawback was a lack of hot water. For his bath every day he stopped at a hotel, a practice which Manager Libidins soon grew to dread. In one hotel or another the absent-minded director managed to lose two rings, a gold watch, $200, a brocade dressing gown, two suits of clothes, three silver spoons, a fountain pen, a shaving brush, a Mozart score and all his evening shirts...
...shoe polish. At the police station, he pulled plugs out of the signal switchboard, nearly wrecked the teletype machine, dined on cheese, jelly sandwiches and milk, went to sleep, awoke and prowled in the basement coal bin, found a sleeping Negro there, kicked him in the face, refused a bath. At the New York Foundling Hospital, nurses agreed he was the dirtiest child they had ever seen, bathed...