Word: batman
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...Mommy, Mommy! I want Turtles! Gimmie Barbie! Can I have Batman?" Cruising the cereal aisle in the local supermarket these days is like changing channels on Saturday morning: a Crayola parade of sugarcoated turtles, ghosts, bats and bears goes by. Kids have an insatiable sweet tooth for breakfast foods based on cartoons, movies, toys and games, a fact that has cereal makers rubbing their hands and a growing cadre of parents hollering "Enough...
...year. Breakfast With Barbie offers a bowl of itty-bitty hearts, bows and stars in lollipop colors. Ghostbusters contains marshmallow specters, and Nintendo Cereal Systems boasts fruity-flavored video-game characters. Hot Wheels, for fans of Mattell's little toy cars, blends marshmallow vehicles with frosted oat "mag wheels." Batman comes in an ominous black box, but the little bats inside are gold. Not even a nine-year-old caped-crusader freak will eat black food. The market for children's cereals is toothsome. Almost one-third of the $7 billion worth of ready-to-eat cereals sold...
...based on industry polls of Friday-night receipts. With so much money at stake, this summer's calls could be highly emotional. "There are a number of films that can do $100 million or more," says Jeffrey Katzenberg, chairman of Disney Studios. "But you can't look for another Batman; that's a fool's mission. There will be triples and home runs, but probably no grand slams...
...only proposal I can offer is not original. I heard it first proposed in the movie Batman. Beholding the filth and depravity of Gotham City, the Joker exclaimed "This town needs an enema!" I think that if the Joker had been with me at the formal the other night, he would have agreed with me, that an enema--a big one--is just what this college needs...
...being ridiculous? I admit that as a kid I saw Roy Rogers shoot-'em- ups and the brutal battles between Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck. These didn't warp me for life. But I never saw anything so violent as Batman before I could tie my shoelaces, and to this day I don't have the stomach to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. As a teenager I thought the Rolling Stones' Let's Spend the Night Together was cool, but it's a long way from that to this Guns N' Roses lyric: "Panties 'round your knees/ With your...