Word: baywatch
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...problem is the rescues. If Baywatch would just stick to the slow-motion running and random bikini contests and bring the thonged extras into the foreground, guys wouldn't need other television shows. Yet Baywatch insists, week after week, on these tedious lifesaving rescue missions. Let the fools drown, people. Prioritize...
Luckily, a bevy of syndicated hour-long action series is filling the need--Baywatch without the plot. The best among them is Pamela Anderson Lee's V.I.P. And with that show's ratings success last season and the continued popularity of the trend-setting Xena: Warrior Princess, syndicated television has created five more female action shows, many of which involve very little action but a whole lot of show...
...reasons--but last night they had the question: 'What are the four most influential bands?'" After listing all of the random celebrities hosting the show, including the guy who played Elaine's leather-jacket-wearing boyfriend for an episode of "Seinfeld," Martha Sokoloff, and "some California-looking guy from Baywatch" (a later e-mail revealed it was David Chokachi, who reminds Vaux of Chuck E. Cheese), Vaux nails home his point. "Two of the guys picked Led Zeppelin. Marla picked Hole...
...MYERS will get $20 million to write and star in Sprockets, a feature film based on the forbiddingly avant-garde German talk-show host Dieter that he played on SNL. Of course, Myers will have some backup. Reportedly, one version of the script for Sprockets had a role for Baywatch mastermind David Hasselhoff as a villain who, on tour in Germany, kidnaps Dieter's monkey...
...just in the United States. Dissembling may have long been among the crucial skills of politicians everywhere, but now ?- like blue jeans, rock 'n' roll and "Baywatch" ?- taking the politics out of politics has become another popular American export...