Word: beachings
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...their own analysis to try to be the first to declare a winner. Little things can make a difference when every minute counts, and what they didn't know was that VNS had a bad sample in Tampa, some faulty data in Jacksonville. Plus there were voters in Palm Beach who told the exit pollers that they had voted for Gore, when in fact their vote had been registered for Buchanan...
What cliff? If there's a crisis, it's one of the commentariat, that sleep-deprived, hoarse horde frustrated over scrapping non-refundable airline tickets to sunny beaches. They're working double shifts for cable outlets, delighted to have a sequel to Elian in a place where they conveniently have satellite uplinks. Sure, some of the Jewish seniors in jogging suits are a little crabby over being called doddering geezers for voting for Pitchfork Pat, who longs for a Christian nation. There are jokes about our need for outside observers from El Salvador. But I haven't heard...
THERESA LEPORE Palm Beach ballot designer causes more elder confusion than a two-part Matlock
...doesn't shock me that some of the retired Jews in Palm Beach may have miscast their votes. Although both of my grandmothers, who live just a few miles south of Palm Beach, know more about politics than any person with a job, they are stymied by technology. My maternal grandmother, Mama I, is so defiantly anti-VCR and cell phone that whenever she reaches her friend Roz's answering machine, she hangs up on it and says, "What does she need with that for? Like she's some big business executive...
Still, Mama I, who often calls me by the names of her other grandchildren, Lisa and Julie, was pretty sure the Palm Beach Buchanan votes needed to be reconsidered. "How could you believe that what's his name got so many votes?" she asked. She would not admit that the old people were to blame for their inability to read a basic form, though she did concede to trouble with other basic skills. "Driving. Oh, boy! You could write a book about that," she said. "They go where they want to go, that's all there is to it. They...