Word: beds
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...drool, and guards are laughing at you as the sun rises. Oh...wait...damn...again? Predictions: You will subsist for the next six hours on coffee. You will pass out briefly in a random, uncomfortable locale that is NOT your or anyone else’s bed, most likely in lecture. You will subsist for the following six hours on Red Bull. Rinse. Repeat. Dream: You’re sitting around a dinner table, eating caviar with Mankiw and Pinker, intelligently discussing the Prisoner’s Dilemma and its implications...
...Crash a Hotel Room: Your Type-A friends pooled their money to spring for a real hotel room? How silly of them! Your frugal self can reap the comforts of their bed without the hit to your wallet...
...Find a Car: Throw your mattress in the backseat, drive to Yale and voila—a bed in New Haven...
...Yale UHS: Alcohol poisoning? Check. Free hospital bed? Check...
...Find Your Sister College: If you’re in Kirkland, find Calhoun. Another house? They have a sister, too. The best part? If you get past the common room and into a bed, you know you’re going to see them again—in exactly one year...