Word: beefing
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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Director Arlene Sanford has attempted to beef up the plot with a bunch of tried-and-true signs of a broken family--tension between Jake and his stepmother, heated sibling rivalry between Jake and his kid sister, etc., etc. No prizes for guessing if he makes peace with his family, patches things up with his girlfriend, or makes it home for Christmas. No surprise, the story line is absolutely predictable: When Jake enters a Santa race for a $1,000 prize in one town, the big question is not if he'll win, but how long it'll take...
...hallstyle vats of unidentified soupy stuff on the other. No sign of labels. Rather inconvenient for the uninitiated. But with a bit of gastronomic guesswork I was able to match most of the dishes with the items listed on the menu. The star of the spread was definitely the Beef Oxtail. The meat was unbelievably tender, the kind of tender where you practically don't have to chew. It had a piquant, peppery flavor with a full-bodied beefy sauce that can only be produced through hours of patient simmering. Very tasty. Also quite good was a chicken stew that...
Finally the first rodizio waiter came to our table, offering a skewer of beef. It's described on the menu as "Top Butt Sirloin--Chef Exclusive grade!" in fact. Um, how appetizing. Certainly better than a mediocre cut of butt, I suppose. However, the beef was disappointingly dry and fairly bland. Barbecuing usually gives meats a rich smoky flavor, but this was sadly not the case here. Still, the quality was not consistent across meat lines. The barbecued lamb and pork did have more flavor. And standout was the linguica sausage, which distinguished itself as the best of the skewers...
Unfortunately the rotations of skewers was imbalanced. Two or three waiters kept on coming to our table, offering cheerfully, "more beef?" Everytime a skewer approached, we would look up hopefully, thinking that perhaps this slab of meat might be something different. When we caught sight of the elusive chicken guy we practically had to flag him down. And I must say the guy carrying the skewer of little impaled chicken hearts never did make it to our table--which was hardly cause for lament for me, although conesseiurs say chicken hearts are one of the more delectable organs...
...smelleth rotten in Denmark," or just break entirely from the dialogue and say, "God I hope I didn't just shit myself!" The crowd will most likely go nuts with hilarity and you will get congrats for weeks on your good save. If your theater teacher gives you any beef, chalk it up to artistic license--he'll love you for your courage to break new dramatic barriers...