Word: beggar
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Seniors are well familiar with this living landmark. First-years, in their naivet, are most likely under the impression that she is just another beggar, one of the colorful characters that defines the distinctive cityscape that so attracted them to Harvard in the first place. Little do they realize that she will soon become as constant a presence in their lives as map-wielding tourists in the Yard and soggy French fries in the dining hall. As they progress throughout their years at Harvard, choosing concentrations, moving into Houses, running for elections, writing theses and donning the cap and gown...
...realize that a lot of people like this woman. Of course, a lot of people like pro wrestling, too, but that doesn't mean it makes any more sense. And speaking of not making sense: an obese beggar? Am I missing something here? It is a combination as foreign as a keg-standing priest or a thought-provoking Core section. Perhaps, however, the ample frame partly explains her choice of occupancy in front of the Porcellian Club. Shacking up before any other similar locale--the Fox, the Owl, the Fly--would imply an agility and spryness far too incongruous...
...tour because they were, well, babes. And today tennis' pouty princess, Anna Kournikova, gets all the endorsements she wants despite the fact that her career WTA-win total is love and love. Kournikova, the poster girl for jockette sex, shows how extreme the situation can get. Craig Kilborn, the beggar's Letterman, did a particularly stupid bit on the eve of the World Cup final, when he waved an American flag for the team as he showed pictures of Foudy, Hamm and then Kournikova--and Kournikova, twice. Total non sequitur and mind-bendingly unfunny, but the message was clear...
...allocated your time resources last Sunday morning and was not impressed. Riding a stationary bike? Watching guys on the Men's Channel talk about triglycerides and P.S.A. counts? Three words of advice: Love thy neighbor. Ever hear what happened to the rich man who stiff-armed the beggar Lazarus? I caused a general protection fault, and he has been off-line for centuries. Anything you'd like to talk about? I'm here. Your Creator...
...four-foot tall, crippled drunk beggar works the line. He's not having much luck. Some of the VJ wannabees are getting testy. An MTV staffer, charged with keeping the line orderly, observes the commotion with a smirk. Gesturing toward the hunch-backed bum, he launches into a sidewalk sermon...