Word: benton
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Kristina Herrndobler, 17, isn't so sure that harmony can be willed. Now a high school student in Benton, Ill., she too was four when her parents called it quits. She says she has no memories of the trauma, just an abiding skepticism about marriage and a resolve to settle for nothing less than the ideal man. "I don't want my kids to wind up in a single-parent situation," she says. "And I don't want to have kids with a man I don't want to be married to forever. I don't believe in the fairy...
...typical. "Since we were children, we have thought of our parents as being the strong role models," she said. As she spoke, a big heavy wad of something started to fill the part of my chest I prefer to reserve for breathing. I described this sensation to Dr. Benton in clinical terms: "You're making me feel creepy...
Luckily, not all adult children need a direct approach. Parents send signals. "If your parent talks about a friend who went to the hospital, and nobody knew what their feeling about life support was, you can say, 'So, Mom, have you guys already put all that stuff together?'" Dr. Benton said...
Start now. When it comes to a living will or who should have power of attorney, "You are not going to sit down and get it done in two hours," Dr. Benton said. "Give yourself time." (If someone already needs help, call your local, federally mandated area Agency on Aging; a list is at www.aoa.dhhs.gov/agingsites/state.html Or get a referral for a geriatric care manager from www.caremanager.org...
...especially queasy adult children (I have no idea whom she had in mind), Dr. Benton suggested leading by example. "Tell your parents about the decisions you are making for yourself about living wills," she said...