Word: bike
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...What is the retro bike?" those 10-speed-pedaling hordes who brave the Cambridge cobbled streets with sufficiently pneumatic tires may wonder. The retro-bike is a genre of used bike which is turning up with alarming frequency on campus. The most common strain--sorry, retro-bikers, it is becoming common--is the Raleigh frame in a rust-eaten variant of burnt umber, olive, electric blue or the ever-present black. The metallic frame comes over both the front and back wheels half-way and preferably, in the purest strains of retro-bike, has an irregularly shaped casing over...
This ilk of retro-bike can most aptly be dubbed the "French Country Bike." It smacks of poignant cinematic moments of older French men rounding the corner to buy bread in the village center. These bikes should preferably be viewed in black and white. One retro-biker, who wishes to remain anonymous, confessed "I don't know what it is about this bike, it's just so cool, it's like I'm in an old Godard movie or something." Or something is right. The highest concentration of these retro-bikes can be found on the racks in front...
...Retro-bikes cannot be an accessory to just anyone. The retro-bike is merely the final complement--the ascot to the suit, the umlaut to ubermensch, the affectation to the accent. Male retro-bikers should therefore include a combination of the following in their assembled visage: either jet black or platinum blonde hair (depending on your sexuality), plastic rimmed rectangular glasses, a blue button-down shirt made of light material, a blazer of either corduroy or velvet (not contingent upon your sexuality), deep brown, well-fitting pants, and an essential leather satchel (for your manuscript, of course). In winter...
...sure, there are other genres of retro-bike. Not to be overlooked is the too-small banana seater that has sparklies somewhere on the frame. This type of bike is most often seen parked near WHRB or emerging from the snow after a thaw. And, there is the friendly, "creative retro-bike" with flowers painted on it. This rarity has only one member on campus and it is always parked in front of DeWolfe. Above and beyond the retro-bike, transcending the style capacity of most, is the motorized scooter. This is reserved for the select few. It's something...
...that Norton's hair has the electrified Eraserhead look, but Norton considers his flaxen head in more organic terms: "It's very alive, even though hair is just, you know, dead skin." It even communes with nature, often catching objects like sticks and leaves when Norton rides his bike. Though it "looks kinda funny" and sometimes inconveniences him, Norton isn't planning on cutting his hair's lifeline any time soon. "We give to each other," he explains. And he hasn't found any nesting birds in there...