Word: blackboards
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...must stay after school, every single episode of his life, to write a homily on the fourth-grade blackboard (e.g., "The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with 'Hail, Satan'"). In a family of noisy eaters, he is perhaps the loudest, at least in decibel-to-kilogram ratio. He has a few weaknesses: exposing his buttocks, sassing his father, making prank calls to Moe's Tavern ("Is Oliver there? Oliver Clothesoff?") and speaking like a Cockney chimney sweep. One of the few trophies on his bedroom shelf is labeled EVERYBODY GETS A TROPHY...
...Bart's blackboard punishments was to write, "I am not delightfully saucy." But he is, he is--a complex weave of grace, attitude and personality, deplorable and adorable, a very '90s slacker who embodies a century of popular culture and is one of the richest characters in it. One thinks of Chekhov, Celine, Lenny Bruce, little boy lost. Anyway, we love the kid and his endlessly terrific show; so here he is in the TIME...
...twice. The first time because my math teacher was writing on the blackboard and her butt was kind of jiggling and I was laughing. It was freshman year. The girl next to me asked me why I was laughing and I told her and she started laughing too. Then the rest of the class started laughing and Ms. Debil turned around and stared at us and everyone stared at me and she said, "Tom, what is going on?" and I said, "Everyone is laughing because your butt was jiggling...
Handel, 39, then drew diagrams on a blackboard as she held forth on a series of concepts: facts have no meaning; it is the stories we concoct out of those facts that give them meaning. She explained that "our rackets," that is, ongoing complaints, are "killing our lives." And "our winning formulas" are really losing formulas. She cautioned that Landmark's ideas ("Be for each other like that" and "People 'is' to death") aren't meant to fit together: "The Forum is holographic. It's not linear...
Gates visited one Senate office after another Monday trying to lather on a little of his personal charm. But even his escort, Vin Weber, a former Congressman who's now a full-time Washington fixer, couldn't smooth Gates' prickly edges. "It was like fingernails on a blackboard," said a participant in one of the meetings. "You'd think with all that money he's paying to his advisers they'd tell him how to behave in front of a U.S. Senator...