Word: bok
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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Abillion dollars. That seems like a lot of money to someone like me who cannot even scrape together five or six quarters to go do laundry. Does President Bok really think that a fourth or fifth-rate school like Harvard (according to Newsweek and U.S. News and World Report) can still grab that much cash...
...course President Bok would have to guarantee personally that the Harvard Junk Bond Fund Drive would not take over any company that does business with South Africa. Otherwise, Fonda and the Protest Fund Drive would have to come and picket them...
...Actually, that's just what the fundraising effort needs---celebrity spokespeople. Derek Bok is a big name in the academia, but he's no Bart Giamatti. Think of all of the money that a real star could generate. Look at Bill Cosby sucking in millions for Temple University. Maybe we could negotiate a deal with America's second best Dad, Michael Gross, from "Family Ties." I'm sure that he isn't doing much these days...
...Junk Bond Fund Drive. Derek Bok could lead a group of aspiring student financiers to Wall Street with enough of Harvard's endowment to buy out the Trump Shuttle. After renaming it the Harvard Shuttle, and promising that it will run on time, they could build a runway behind Soldier's Field...
President Bok should take a close look at these sugestions. If he ignores them now, he will be stuck in a couple of months when his only option for raising money is to convince a public television station to run a phone bank drive. And the chances of that happening are about a billion...