Word: boomerism
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...Memorial Day and its reminders of things military. And I have come to the conclusion that it's time to direct the old baby boom magic toward the problems of the armed services. Of course, the Army, Air Force, Navy and Marines have changed a great deal already under boomer influence - women, gays. The trouble is that the military, by the nature of its work and code (duty, honor, country, sacrifice) is not exactly in the boomer spirit of things. Vietnam long ago produced a profound split in the generation - the Elite Draft Dodgers v. the Suckers Who Went...
...that, I think. Some have protested that the armed forces are not supposed to be a social experiment. I say, let's make it a real experiment. Here's how: Enlist the baby boomers now. Replace today's armed forces, in which the young predominate, with service people over the age of 50. To get the ball rolling, it might be a good idea for Bill Clinton, who is at liberty as of late January 2001, to be the first boomer recruit in the new Army...
...benefits of the plan are clear: Fitness: The military will rejuvenate the middle-aged boomers, functioning as an incomparable diet-and-exercise program. Slim down, shape up. Sexual behavior: If all the service people - women as well as men - are in their 50s, the incidence of sexual harassment will decline almost to zero. So will the incidence of pregnancies. Let older, more mature hormones exert their civilizing influence. (The commanding officer may want to have a word with Private Clinton on this matter). Boomer psyche: An all-middle-aged army would repair at last the moral split in the generation...
...more than 1,000 officers through "R.U. Ready High School" in Moyock, N.C., a $45,000 facility specifically built to simulate Columbine-style carnage. A school-hostage drill in Pinellas County, Fla., last month featured 600 middle schoolers hiding inside locked-down classrooms. It was enough to make baby-boomer parents long for the good old days of duck-and-cover...
...Lord works in mysterious ways. or at least his surrogates in the TV biz do. Last week several nbc affiliates booted God, the Devil and Bob from prime time, questioning the taste of an animated sitcom that depicts God as an aging baby boomer who wears sunglasses and drinks beer (most injurious to the doctrine of divine infallibility, it's light beer...