Word: boye
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Dates: during 1960-1969
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...slogans of Esalen's five-day Sunday to Friday "More Joy" workshop is that "Joy comes on Thursday." The boy had climbed the mountain on Tuesday. He felt together, strong, whole far out. He did not know that more there was. He thought joy had already come, so he settled down to wait for Thursday...
Tuesday night and Wednesday were quiet, relaxed times. After the initial frenzy of Susie's life and death trip, the boys, group had settled down to a slower pace. There were, of course, personal statements of hostility, aggression, weakness, importance, schizophrenia -- but these were becoming standard fare. A pattern was developing: it seemed that each of the people in the boy's group had come to Esalen with a single, very intense hang-up, and had brought it there to release it. That, after all, was why they paid $165 for five days...
...sense, the boy knew that this was good. He admired the ability of these people to be honest, to talk about themselves and face the truth about themselves. He admired their willingness to try to break out of the ruts of their lives, their willingness to come to a far out, experimental place like Esalen. But something bothered him. It all seemed too easy, and two things seemed to be implicit. The first was that after each person confessed, broke down, cracked, poured out his should the others in the group should love him. The boy did not love these...
...second thing bothering him was the unstated assumption that since everybody else had come with a confession to make, the boy must have one too. From the start, even though he had been quiet, he had felt the group's curiosity about him. They were confessing themselves, and they wanted something from him; he was ten years younger that any of them--he probably would have a very exciting trip; it would be different from theirs--and they wanted to see it. He had seen them in their weakness; they wanted...
...walking was not difficult for the boy, but there were many places where other members of the group had trouble. He saw them joyfully reaching out to help each other, the men anchoring the women, helping them, helping each other up the narrow path--reaching out and holding on for probably the first time in their lives. It was fine, the boy thought, but that, too, was too easy. There was something cheap about it. Joy comes on Thursday; on Thursday, people reach out and help each other; on Friday they go back to their homes and start lying...