Word: boye
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Dates: during 1960-1969
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...session broke up about 11:30 p.m. On his way out the door, the boy walked past John...
Some of the members of the group went down to the baths. The boy was restless, however, and went back to his room with Paul. He looked at himself in the mirror: his eyes were open very wide; he did look stoned, bewildered, afraid. So he and Paul stayed in their room to witness the final event of that Monday--the boy's second breakdown...
...long time, he paced back and forth while Paul sat on his bed sipping Armagnac from the bottle they had brought. The boy could feel his flipness slipping away from him. "I just don't like these people," he said. "I honestly don't. I don't like anything about them. They're old, they're tired, they're dead, they've based lives on lies. All they can do is look back on it in despair, because they've lost it. Life's passed them by, and I don't want any part of them...
...afraid of. He had been afraid when Susie tripped out, but at the same time spellbound -- his strangely dilated eyes were proof of that. "You have to take the biggest risk," John had said. "The further you reach out, the more you will find." The boy wanted a trip of his own. He knew he would be incomplete without one, that there would be a side of himself that would be always hidden. But was he willing to trip out in front of these sterile, lifeless, prostituted people? Did a man have to die, to become part of this human...
...fear hit, hit as it never had before. "Jesus!" He leaped from his bed and turned on the light. His whole body had been covered with spiders and snakes and maggots--he had suddenly felt himself part of a swarming, clawing, terrifying bed of slime and dirt. The boy remembered a short story he had read once about a man in a cave filled with spiders. What had there been on the other side of that mountain...