Word: bride
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...timely new book, There Goes the Bride: Making Up Your Mind, Calling It Off & Moving On (Jossey-Bass), claims that about 15% of all engagements are called off each year. "This is a growing phenomenon," says co-author Rachel Safier, whose own canceled wedding inspired the book. "I thought I was alone, but people have been coming out of the woodwork. It's just not discussed, because it's clearly not the romantic side of the wedding story...
Seems the veil is coming off. Whether the bride decides she's too young, the bridegroom realizes he's not ready, or both agree they're just not meant to be a couple, the would-be wedded are coming out with their premarital fears and grievances. In chat rooms on--of all places--wedding websites, the topic is fretted over and hotly debated. TheKnot.com the mother-in-law of all wedding sites with more than 2 million visitors a month, includes articles like "Calling It Off: Real Brides, Real Reasons," amid more registry-friendly fare. Message boards on Indiebride.com...
...reasons behind the trend include the lengthening period of engagement; the vogue for mega-weddings, with their attendant stresses, expenses and complications; and the fear of divorce. The longer the engagement, the more time for disillusionment and the greater the likelihood that the wedding will be called off. A Bride's magazine poll found that the average period of engagement rose from 11 months in 1999 to 16 months in 2002. Sometimes, an engaged couple want to live together to test the relationship (6 in 10 live together before marriage, according to Bride's). By the time they're halfway...
Moreover, the hoopla of wedding planning, even if not of Bennifer proportions, often ushers in the jitters. Millie Martini Bratten, editor in chief at Bride's, calls wedding planning "boot camp" for marriage. "You realize that even though you've been living together, you may not have discussed all the fundamentals you need to work out before getting married," she says. "All these questions arise during the planning process that bring up deeper issues: Do we have the same attitudes toward money? How do we face problems? Do we know how to argue and resolve differences...
...film audiences are certainly familiar with the concept. The dithering bride at the altar has been a Hollywood staple, from 1934's It Happened One Night to 1999's Runaway Bride. Both Rachel on Friends and Carrie on Sex and the City have returned diamond rings. But while Hollywood finds romantic tension and humor in such scenes, those who have lived through them say the experience entails unrecognized suffering. While it lacks the stigma of divorce, it nonethelss carries more complications and emotional fallout than the standard breakup. Lyn O'Hearn, 26, a travel agent from Lincoln, Neb., says...