Word: britneyness
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Picture the worst film that you can possibly imagine and begin beating yourself with a tire iron. Only then can you come close to conjuring the film experience that is Britney Spears’ Crossroads. Not only does she recite the lyrics of “Not A Girl...Not Yet A Woman” as a poem around a campfire to the Handsome Stranger, she also forgoes a career in medicine to audition to become a (gasp) pop star in Hollywood. Prancing from one scene to another, Spears displays a jaw-droppingly diverse acting range in her film debut...
...Dreams can change but friends are forever.” Unfortunately, this highly original tagline ignores the problem that post-Madonna teenybopper bombshell rock stars lack the durability our childhood friends possess. Nonetheless, Crossroads opens to salivating audiences around the U.S. and Canada this weekend. Will it revive poor Britney after the disappointing sales of her latest album? Will it woo critics with its swashbuckling teen adventure? Did Columbus land in Oklahoma? Is that really...
...timeless tale of youthful rebellion and a brilliant metaphor for the trajectory of our lives, concerns three childhood friends in Georgia who have followed different paths since being in high school. Kit (Zoe Saldana) took the tempting cheerleading, Mimi (Taryn Manning) is naturally the opposite (big loser) and Lucy (Britney Spears) is the straight-A valedictorian with exorbitantly large breasts. Obviously, these restless young ladies need a cross-country road trip for a dose of self-discovery to ease that angst. Think Thelma & Louise plus Friend and Hot Guy set to “Not a Girl?...
Behind the scenes, however, is Britney’s struggle to retain her immense popularity. Her latest album, the enigmatically titled Britney, has already sold four million copies, but this number pales significantly in comparison to her sophomore effort, Oops! I Did It Again. Potential reasons for the drop in sales include her earlier audience of 11-year-old girls developing brains, or perhaps that Harvard first-year males can download the “I’m a Slave 4U” video for free from Kazaa. Britney herself is considering taking a break from her musical career...
Subsequently, Britney is branching out to find new audience niches, or in other words, using different formats to display her hugely iconic anatomy. For example, besides Crossroads, Britney has delved into the publishing world with her and her mother Lynne’s discussion of girl-dom and parenting in the modest seller Heart to Heart. Though Spears quite unjustly did not receive the National Book Award, pubescent girls of many diverse levels of self-esteem enjoyed Britney and mom’s analysis of body image issues. After reading the book, many girls then watched her performance...