Word: britneyness
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...from adult acne. Even more encouraging, Elizabeth Hurley has some acne scars too. Angelina Jolie has a nice big scar in the middle of her neck, Angela Bassett suffers from a balding condition, Val Kilmer has a distended sac on his elbow, Leonardo DiCaprio suffers from pimple outbreaks regularly, Britney Spears had a mondo cyst underneath her lip during the cover shoot for "Baby One More Time," Marky Mark's got a third nipple, Liv Tyler and Jennifer Love Hewitt both have chicken pox scars, the list just keeps going. Need a reading period self-esteem booster? Check...
Exhibit B: "Born to Make You Happy" by Britney Spears...
Little girls love to say that Britney Spears is "omigod, like the coolest role model." The song and video, "Born to Make You Happy," will shut those little girls up. Literally! The message of the song is: shut up and wait for your man because you were "born to make him happy." The video has Britney Spears pining after a guy who doesn't really like her, but she's convinced that he's the only one for her: "I'd do anything, I'd give you my world/I'd wait forever, to be your girl/Just call my name...
Christina Aguilera wants to be the nasty Britney Spears. She desperately wants to be objectified. "I have breast implants! I have breast implants!" she seems to scream, but no one really listens. And so she's decided to take it up a notch. "What a Girl Wants" shouldn't be an offensive song. The chorus actually reads: "What a girl wants, what a girl needs/Whatever makes me happy and sets you free... Whatever keeps me in your arms/I wanna thank you for giving me time to breathe." There's some complexity there, right? (Bear with me. Just pretend there...
...much you loathe the show Total Request Live is the arena to launch music (the American Bandstand of the '90s). If you crack the countdown, chances are you'll show up on the Billboard Hot 100 the next Thursday. Want proof? Remember, TRL was the show that first flaunted Britney Spears' assets (all two of them) with the schoolgirl-themed Baby One More Time last December. But TRL once known for having Backstreet Boys at #1, 'NSync at #2, 98 Degrees at #3 every single day isn't just bubblegum pop anymore. On Friday's show, Backstreet held...