Word: brotherism
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Seven-year-old Adam, whose autistic brother Jacob is 11, says, "I can't really play games with Jacob like I can with my cousin Eric [also 11]. Jacob likes to play games on the computer - but by himself, not with me. He gets too angry if he loses and then doesn't want to play." Adam's father, Paul, says soberly, "I'm sure Eric represents the brother Adam might have had." (Read "A Link Between Autism and Testosterone...
Solution: Find common ground Parents can start by telling the typical sibling that his brother or sister "is doing the best he can, and here are some things you can do with him," says Judy Levy, director of social work at the Kennedy Krieger Institute. "Maybe in the future he'll be able to learn to play with you in other ways, but right now this is what...
...which can be scary and dangerous, especially for younger kids. And parents can't possibly keep an eye on their kids every second - which is about the amount of time it took for one child I interviewed to get squirted in the eyes with Windex by her younger autistic brother. (She survived just fine.) Even my son Nate, who isn't aggressive but is twice the size of Joey, often hugs Joey - tight. Very tight. Around the neck. When Joey yells "MOM!" I've learned to tell the difference between Mom, can you help me find my Gameboy...
Challenge #4: "He's so embarrassing!" It's common for siblings to feel embarrassed by their autistic brother or sister's behavior in public, or to be reluctant to bring their friends home. Kelly Reynolds, 21, says it can be difficult introducing her autistic brother, Will, to her friends: "It's hard to have a young child in an older kid's body. [Will] may go up to one of my girlfriends and sit on her on the couch - which probably would have been cute when he was five years old but he's 17 now," Reynolds says. "That...
Solution: Encourage honesty - and laugh "Interestingly, a lot of these [typical sibs] are more outspoken," says Levy of the Kennedy Krieger Institute. "They'll go up to people and say, 'Yes, that's my brother. He has special needs. Do you have any questions...