Word: buckwheat
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When I arrived at the home for retired racial stereotypes in Hollywood last week, Buckwheat and the Kingfish were poring over a blueprint. "Here we is," squeaked Buckwheat, beckoning me over. "These are the plans for our new branch, the Home for Racial Stereotypers Who Ought to Seek Early Retirement. We're naming it after Don Imus...
...hasn't changed," Buckwheat said. "A writer named Philip Nobile has collected dozens of examples of Imus or his half-witted sidekicks saying obnoxious things about women, gays, Jews and minorities. Like calling Howard Kurtz of the Washington Post, a 'boner-nosed, beanie-wearing Jew boy.' Or the New York Knicks 'chest-thumping pimps.' Or saying that people shouldn't get upset about serial gay killer Andrew Cunanan because 'he's just whacking off freaks!' Nobile tried to sell an article asking why media bigwigs like Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather and some of your colleagues from TIME magazine feel...
...know, I know," sighed Buckwheat. "The flag's defenders claim they started flying it in 1962 to commemorate the Civil War centennial, but that doesn't fool anybody. What they were really doing was signaling their resistance to civil rights. But that's ancient history--even Strom Thurmond campaigns for black votes these days! What's the point of keeping it up there? It's costing South Carolina big bucks because civil rights groups have organized a boycott of the state until the flag comes down. According to polls, 60% of South Carolinians, black and white, want...
...Heck, even George W. Bush, John McCain and Steve Forbes have been saying loony things about the flag issue," added Buckwheat. "All three of them claim they want the Republican Party to appeal more to blacks and other minorities. But not one of them had the courage to say what Al Gore and Bill Bradley said, that the flag's an offensive symbol of white supremacy that ought to come down right away. If Republicans think more black folks are going to vote for them after this performance from their front runners, they're really STUPID...
...right," said Buckwheat. "It's like there's a deliberate effort to whitewash all that ugly history. Take the national Capitol in Washington. Many of the huge sandstone blocks it's built out of were quarried by slave laborers. In fact, The Statue of Freedom--the figure of a Native American woman warrior that stands on the dome--was cast in bronze by slave laborers in 1863 and hoisted up there. You'd think there would be a national museum or monument to them, but there isn't even a plaque...